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On the field, the team stole T.J. Lang away from the hated Packers to replace departed guard Larry Warford. By law, any free agent signed from New England, Green Bay. Red Sox fans have also seemed to have latched on the Apple Watch, not because of the tech itself, but because of their never-ending inferiority complex that flares up.

Nine People Shot Dead At NFL Watch Party; Victim's Mom Says Daughter's Ex- Husband Was The Shooter. Nine people are dead, including the suspected gunman, and a 1. NFL watch party over the weekend in Plano, Texas, according to local police. The suspect, who was killed by the responding officer, hasn’t been identified by authorities, but the mother of one victim told a Dallas TV station that the shooter was her daughter’s ex- husband.

Plano police chief Greg Rushin said the gunman shot nine people; seven died at the scene, Rushin said. Two more were alive and taken to a local hospital, where one of them died.

The condition of the remaining survivor wasn’t known by police on Monday afternoon. They also did not release any names of the victims, saying they were still reaching out to next of kin. Debbie Lane told WFAA- TV that one of the victims was her daughter, Meredith, an Atlanta native and cook who “loved hosting friends and family.” That day, Debbie Lane said, her daughter had a watch party for the Atlanta Falcons game, followed by the Cowboys taking on the New York Giants in the Sunday Night Football matchup.

Her father, Gene Lane, told the Washington Post, “All we know is that she’s gone.”Court records obtained by the Dallas Morning News showed that Lane had been married to Spencer Hight, but they stopped living together in March of this year. She filed for divorce in July, those records showed, with “discord or conflict of personalities” cited as the reason, per the Morning News. A neighbor at a listed address for Hight said police had already visited the apartment. Rushin would not confirm the shooter’s identity or that it was a domestic- violence homicide, but he used many of the key words that typically come up in such an investigation. Rushin said the shooter had a “relationship” with the house, had “ties to that residence,” and “he was known by the people in the residence.” Rushin later described what happened as “an isolated incident,” and said police were not looking for any other suspects. Rushin at one point mentioned that “family violence” can happen anywhere.

At the same press conference, Rushin also went into more details about what happened. He said police were responding Sunday night to a call of shots fired. The first officer at the scene saw people shot in the backyard, and decided he couldn’t wait for backup.“The first thing he heard was shots being fired.

He saw people in the backyard that were down, that were shot. So he instantly knew what was going on. He went into the house on his own,” Rushin said. He made that decision that he couldn’t wait for backup, for another partner, to go in as we were trained and go in to stop the shooter. And that’s exactly what he did. He actually found the shooter inside and ended his shooting spree.” One witness described to WFAA’s David Goins the fighting she heard right before the shots were fired.

While Plano police are investigating the homicide, the Texas Rangers will investigate the police officer’s shooting of the suspect.

Why Your Team Sucks 2. Detroit Lions. Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions.

But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Detroit Lions. Butthole is always on the menu. Only NFC team to never go to the Super Bowl, folks. Your 2. 01. 6 record: 9- 7. The best part was when they started 9- 4 and then EVERYONE looked at the remaining schedule (Giants, Cowboys, Packers) and instinctively knew they were gonna lose out and blow the division to a Packers team that was two games behind with three games left.

And so they did. Most predictable Lions thing to ever happen. They also lost to Tennessee in a game where they had three touchdowns called back by penalties. That is the SECOND most predictable Lions thing to ever happen. They played a Wild Card game against Seattle (try to remember a single thing about it) and had to send their QB out onto the field with a dislocated finger. He went 1. 8- 3. 2 for 2. TDs and they lost 2.

Tell me you guys wouldn’t rather smash drives in the Silverdome ruins than watch this team flail around for 1. Sundays a year. Your coach: Jim Caldwell, whose . Lions head coach in modern NFL history. It’s true. Your greatest coach in the Super Bowl era is your uncle who spends all day fishing: The best part is that virtually every Lions fan will refuse to give Caldwell credit for anything and heap it all upon Jim Bob Cooter instead. One more 9- 7 season and they’ll probably build a Cooter statue outside Ford Field. Your quarterback: Matt Stafford. By the end of every season, Matt Stafford is playing with half a frontal lobe and two bones sticking out of his finger.

And because the NFL is cruel, they play the Packers in Week 1. Amazing. That fat bastard will chuck 5. Watch Touching The Void Streaming. I’m very excited for a somber profile of Stafford 3. My Life Is Hell, as told to S. L. Price. What’s new that sucks: Your uniforms!

I am so, so tired of this. You listen to me, professional sports team brand managers of the world: Unless the colors and/or the logo are new, the uniforms are not. You don’t get to have a Seventh Avenue runway party just because you added piping to the jerseys. See now, this? Now THAT is a redesign.

I swear Kid Rock could win that state’s Senate seat by 2. On the field, the team stole T. J. Lang away from the hated Packers to replace departed guard Larry Warford. By law, any free agent signed from New England, Green Bay, or Pittsburgh will immediately turn to shit playing for any other team. Join us in Week 6 when Lang breaks both ankles in a golf cart mishap.

Bob Quinn also shrewdly acquired a bunch of other teams’ draft busts, including tackle Greg Robinson (to replace the injured Taylor Decker, whom they really needed), along with cornerback D. J. Hayden, who needs an Iron Man’s arc reactor implanted in his chest just to keep from dropping dead on the field. What has always sucked: You already know by now. Detroit is the place where legends retire quietly and without warning. And it’s only after the appropriate amount of time has passed that the obvious comes to light: “I didn’t see a chance for them to win a Super Bowl at the time,” Johnson said.“For the work I was putting in, it wasn’t worth my time, to keep on beating my head up against the wall, and not go anywhere… It’s the definition of insanity… That’s everybody’s goal, when they come to the league, is to win a Super Bowl. That’s the ultimate goal.

I wanted to win it, and like I said, I just didn’t see that opportunity with the Lions.”Keep in mind that the Lions went to the playoffs in 2. I know that’s not much, but that 2. Lions had won 1. 0 or more games in 1. This Caldwell era represents the most successful run of Lions football this century, which is just… God, that’s so sad. Megatron knew it was all a ruse anyway. Even with Stafford aboard—by no means the greatest QB ever, but an astronomical upgrade over the parade of cave- dwellers this team started during the 1.

Megatron was like, “This is fucking hopeless.” Even when the Lions are good, they’re still lightyears away from being good enough. None of the other teams in their division consider them a rival because they mostly just feel bad for them.

Their ceiling will forever be a wild- card road game that will end in a blowout. You need to be 9. I just didn’t feel like I was treated the way I should have been treated on the way out.”For real, how does this team to manage to alienate its two greatest players?

The Ford family must be about as charming as a bag of brown recluse spiders. What a goddamn disaster. As for you, Michigan, you are a national disgrace. Your governor is still dumping urea into the Flint water supply and belongs in supermax prison. Your legacy of white musicians is downright criminal. Your chili dogs make Skyline look like Eleven Madison Park. Somehow the most prominent sports owner in Detroit is the moron who owns the Cleveland Cavaliers.

The state is eternally terrified of Mexicans taking jobs that already vanished 4. Michigan is a hollowed- out ore mine. Did you know? Buzz Lightyear has questions. What might not suck: Zach Zenner is wayyyy better at not- football stuff than football. Amazing. You guys went through the whole alphabet of running backs (from Ameer Abdullah to Zach Zenner) and none were good.

HEAR IT FROM LIONS FANS! Richard: I am not old enough to remember a single playoff victory. Pete: Fuck this team. Randy: We once lost a game because our defensive tackle missed the game- tying extra point. Jesus, I can’t believe that’s a true sentence. Jim: Between Calvin Johnson and Barry Sanders, our best player was Jason Hanson. He was a kicker. Patrick: Why would a team based in the Midwest choose Honolulu Blue as a primary team color?

Why? Garrison: Catch me drowning my sorrows in hard vodka by 1: 2. Sundays this season. Jake: The transmission for my 2. Ford Focus, along with transmissions for all Focus models from 2. Yes, five years worth of automatic transmissions—a technology that’s been around for more than a century—had to be recalled. So is anyone surprised the Ford family doesn’t know how the hell to run a football team? Jamie: There have been only two stretches in the Super Bowl era when they’ve had consecutive winning seasons.

Trey: The bar has been set so low for this franchise that last season they honored the 1. NFC championship game, with a ceremony and a fucking banner.